big crush, bigger time, biggest deal!!!

1. big crush
couple days ago,
the school hosted a drama competition,
it was fun but umm i think im all over excited,
they were many participants from other schools,
many girls, many boys..
got the clue??
no?
yes?
never mind,
it's not important after all
:P

2. bigger time
being the emcee for the drama competition,
was the smartest move ever..
i got to watch the performances upclose and personal,
i can hear the students delivering their lines clearly,
and most importantly, i can see their facial reaction
which was really really really really impressive,
with the tears and all, wow!! daebak!!
but, because of being the emcee, too,
i got this unstable state of mind..
why?
never mind,
nothing important..
:P

3. biggest deal
this has to be the best,
summing together the big crush and the bigger time
i finally realized that my childhood 'angan-angan'
-forgot the word-
slowly crept its way back into my mind,
when i was a child,
i had an interest, a real interest towards this one 'something'
-couldnt find the best word-
that i actually
once
really
had a kindful thought
that i,
someday,
will find this kind of person
and marry him believe it or not...
but well, a dream is just a dream and always be a dream..
there are barriers that i couldnt jump over
and neither do 'the-guy-i-wish-to-marry-with'..
what to do, but its okay,
i'm all good..
besides, now that ive grown up,
i know what life is,
and that is the real deal!

thank you!
:P
-syasya-